Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I Can Do This . . .

Why is it that we, at times, doubt what we can do, even though it is humanly possible and is most times best for us? In a book series called The Great and Terrible, the author, Chris Stewart, portrays Satan and the spirits that follow him in a light that I find helpful. The spirits of Satan are ALWAYS right by you observing every move you make, both physically and mentally. They see your weaknesses and use that to their advantage. They whisper bits of self loathing or even encouragement to do and/or think those things that would be detrimental to your own spiritual happiness and progression. I had a couple of moments like that last week.

The first, though a bit trivial, was as simple as an attitude of quitting. I started running a little over a year ago and I have recently been training for a run at the end of the summer. I had to run a certain length on Saturday and was shocked at how easily I wanted to just stop. I kept telling myself that it was stupid to keep running, what's the point. No one would know, why was I subjecting myself to the pain anyway?

Immediately, I realized how negative the thoughts were and I actually was saying out loud to myself, "I am a runner, I can do this", over and over again. I realized how easy it would have been to give up and just stop running, but it has helped to improve my overall health and attitude. I find that on days that I run, I have a more cheerful outlook, this may also be because I feel that I have started the day in an organized way; running, reading, studying, praying. It all seems to fall into place.

Well, I was starting to feel the same way yesterday about our home and progress at core phase. Oh, we have been doing great with it. Family work has been smooth for the most part. There is room for improvement, but everyone has been giving their all. Then I have a day, like yesterday, where it all seems to come crashing down. The kids don't want to give their share. Basically, I have this vision of how things can work and run and they don't! Then I start to doubt my decisions and wonder if this is truly the way we want to go. It seems to work great, are there truly times when there are kinks and I just need to learn to work through and beyond like with running? I keep telling myself this.

On Sunday, we had the opportunity to learn more about some gospel principles from some of our general authorities, including our beloved Prophet, Thomas S. Monson. We were able to participate in a Regional Conference. Their words were encouraging and also a reminder to me, that I am making decisions on behalf of my family that are pleasing unto the Lord. I feel discouraged and think immediately of those spirits of Satan that know me so well, that are encouraging me to think such self doubt and then I hear an apostle of the Lord remind us what our opportunity and duty as parents are:

"Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, to teach them to love and serve one another, to observe the commandments of God and to be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

I immediately feel an overwhelming feeling of approval that what I am doing as a mother is the right way for us.

It is true that it would be easier to give into my own self doubt and find an easier route to teach my children these things, but would it be worth it? What would be left out? Will they see right through me and realize that I am not giving it my all? Perhaps, but I will definitely see right through it. I think the realization of my own failures would be much harder to live with than my struggle to stay on the path that I have felt inspired to be on. I am just thankful for prayer, the scriptures, and the words of the apostles that guide and encourage our lives.

So to all those that are struggling just a bit or a lot in your journey to teach your children, be strong, endure, and keep telling yourself, " I can do this, I am a Mother!"


Dana ♥ said...

I love those books as well! The Great and Terrible Series is awesome! Chris Stewart told me that he was going to revisit the characters in about 3 years and write 3 more books. Hooray!

Alexis said...

Thanks for the inspiration Ginger. We can all use a little pick me up from time to time. Thanks for being such a great example!

ann said...

I can relate to this! Good post.

Thanks so much for that little booklet, I read it and it was a great lesson. Thank you!